BEA or Bust

Okay God I'm a bit perplexed...

Book Expo is coming to Los Angeles. Let's think about that for a minute. The book industry is coming to the film industry.

Wait a minute - BOOKS in Los Angeles. Huh? It could work - I see talent being discovered (cough, cough). Books being acquired by a larger publisher (cough, cough). Books being optioned for television series (cough, cough) and reality tv show pitches on HGTV being considered (I wonder if that would happen to moi!).

One of the best things about going to Book Expo of America this year is the prospect of meeting new people. Being the dazzling, magnificent, shy woman that I am, I love the opportunty of meeting people worldwide who share a love of books. However, don't you hate the $20 hotdog and $15 dollar slice of cold pizza and the $40K facelifts. Then there is the LA Literati which is composed for former east coast intellectuals who had got ahold of some tofu and decided to give the west coast a whirl for the sake of "art". Then of course there is the guy who goes booth to booth collecting business cards because he thinks you two could work together on a project. The truth: He sells real estate "plots" to senior citizens at Leisure World and goes on MySpace.com to add your name as a "friend". Later (approximately two weeks) you receive an email seeking the best way to get "biblical knowledge" of you in the horizontal-tango way.

With that being said - there is so much to do here that it makes sense and cents to have more Book Expo outings here in LA-LA land. First of all - it's not going to rain, there is no humidity, some tv shows are on hiatus which means that you may see more celebrities in their natural habitats (Kitson on Robertson, The Ivy on Robertson, Planet Blue in Malibu, and Ralph's Supermarket on Lincoln in Marina Del Rey, and of course Rodeo Drive).

Tell you what - I'll give you a breakdown on customs and places to go. First of all, don't be afraid to go to Rodeo drive - one of the best kept secrets about Bev Hills is that - most parking is FREE. I would warn you about the "Watch for elastic skin stretching Warnings" as you enter the parking structures. We don't want a sneeze from a 88 year old woman with her 8th "refresher procedure" to cause you post-traumatic stress syndrome. Try: Spago - it's worth every moment you're there. Also Crustacean is really good. Both places require reservations.

If you venture out to the San Fernando Valley (i.e. Valley Girl land) just know that broken english or sentences beginning with the word "like" means you're speaking to a high-strung 14 year-old teenage girl who just discovered that one of the lead actors in High School Musical is actually a 40 year old transvestite with re-occurring past life flashbacks. The valley is great - Ca Del Sole restaurant is great and it's down the street from Universal Studios.

Venice Beach - okay (exhale) - Very cool place to people watch. Just don't eat anything before you get there because of the site of the orange-tanned middle-aged couple with well-endowed butt wrinkles playing the guitar and singing Bon Jovi's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" may make one provide human graffitti in the alleyways. There are no words to prepare you for so I'm just warning you.

Try: Go to Hal's Bar & Grill for good music and jazz! (Abbott Kinney Dr. in Venice)

South Bay (Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach, Redondo Beach) - Beautiful, laid-back, nothing too crazed - just know that you'll stand out like a tourist if you're clotheed head-to-toe. The Beach rules and if you have time to play volleyball - don't be shy - ask if you can join in on a game (just be prepared - volleyball folks here are HARDCORE).

Try: Martha's Grill on Hermosa Beach (26th) and New Orleans Cajun Creole Restaurant at 140 Pier Ave in Hermosa. Also if you have extra time on Sunday: Jay Leno is at the Magic Comedy Club every Sunday night. In Manhattan Beach: Good Stuff Burger and try Shade Hotel for a cool place to have a meeting. You'll look like you're the "man or woman" and you may see Denzel at the shusi restaurant around the corner.

If you have extra time - go to Trumps International Golf Club in Rancho Palos Verdes for dinner or brunch! You're literally overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Getting there is a drive - hire a driver for the day - do not take a cab. If you want to take a cab - call me - I'll charge you what Reed Exhibitions charged me for my Booth 4144 in the African American Pavillion (shameless plug) and get you there quick.

Pasadena, Santa Monica, Malibu, will be covered tomorrow.

God: Hot Dogs $20, Cold Pizza $15, - Angela's ability to overtly self-promote herself, plug book, prospective tv shows - PRICELESS.